in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
