i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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