You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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