doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
