I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
