if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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