So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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