Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
