Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
