how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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