Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
