when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
