on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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