BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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