Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
