i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
