fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
