After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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