I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
