I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
