maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
