At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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