Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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