He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
