We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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