Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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