why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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