Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
