Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
