If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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