Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
