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She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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