Dual....:-)
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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