Having a random hookup so left but love u
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
