Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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