Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
