Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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