real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
