The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
