you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
