Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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