Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
