i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
