the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
