we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
