bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
