dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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