ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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