Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
