Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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