The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
