Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
