Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
